I’ll never look at a lotus flower the same way again after this week. I was looking for an image that I could use to symbolize what we’re going through with Wes. It was silly really but I wanted to scout out an image for the top of the popsocket that had personal meaning to me.
I flagged an image (above) that I liked on the Popsocket website that looked pretty as a potential option to buy. Then, I decided at that moment to shift gears and search for something with more personal meaning. I started searching using terms like ‘OCD awareness’ and ‘mental health awareness’ online. One article had a list of OCD-related tattoos other OCD-sufferers had gotten.
Several tattoos down the list of ‘top picks,’ I ran across an image of a lotus flower with it’s big, beautiful, ballooning leaves. The text below the image was a quote from the girl who had the tattoo. It shared how she picked it because the lotus flower grows in mud. For her, it symbolized how the most beautiful things can come from the most ugly and unexpected situations.
That lotus flower tattoo story struck a deep chord for me. And not long after running across it, it struck me that I recognized those billowing leaves from earlier in my search. I flipped back to the first tab in my search bar and realized that the ‘pretty’ Popsocket I’d first landed on was really just a pattern of lotus flowers!!! I guess it was finding me more than I was finding that lotus flower symbol.
Our journey has been muddy. I feel like I’m trudging through wet concrete more so than mud some days and just trying to keep taking the next step because the mud is so thick. Yet, some days I realize we have some better boots, maybe all the rain has loosened the steps and each one gets just a tiny bit easier.
Last night was muddy but maybe a little less so. When I put him to bed he couldn’t relax. He was trance-like as he insisted on having to turn over repeatedly to look at the clock. As he did so he would announce the time. “It’s 9:05…9:06…I bet it’s 9:10…” I said, “OCD is really bulling you. He really needs to know the time. Let’s not let him bully you. Do you need me to move the clock?” I suggested we tackle it in a therapy session. I held my breath for his pushback. There was none. The mud got a little looser. He even corrected me that we should do an exposure therapy on not looking at the clock but on not SAYING the time out loud. Some more rain to loosen the mud.
Update: 10/14/21 – Sometimes you get to see a big rainbow after a storm. Yesterday, Wes looked at that intricate image of the lotus flowers and pointing to each of the flowers one at a time said, “Mom! This one is you. This one is dad. This one is me. And, this one is King. And this in the middle is Kirby (our puppy who passed away this year).” I never mentioned a thing to him about the meaning this image had for me.
Peace & Victory
JM
children education erp Exposure response therapy halloween just right ocd kids mental health obsessive compulsive obsessive compulsive disorder obsessive compulsive dissorder OCD ocd awareness ocd treatment parent child interaction therapy parenting pcit prozac
Defeating the OCD Flea 