MEET THE FLEE

Hi, My name is Wesley,

UPDATES: (1) Originally written at 5 years old (2) Updated at 8 years old

I wanted to tell you a few things about myself. 

I’m 8 years old. I love my family to infinity and beyond (actually…all the way to the black hole and back!). I love playing Fortnite on the Nintendo Switch. And, watching YouTube (…which my mom doesn’t like). I also love to play with my friends and dogs. And I want to be an army guy when I grow up!

There’s also something you should know about me that I don’t like to talk about. I live with the evil ‘OCD Flea’ who is always making me feel scared, uncomfortable, and anxious. He tricks me into thinking that if things aren’t ‘just right’ or ‘complete’ I need to do different things (obsessions) over and over again to feel better. My mom says I have a neurological condition called ‘Just Right’ OCD. Even though I hear a lot of people say “I’m a little OCD”, my mom said only 1 in 200 people actually do 😦 .

OCD Flea is a bully. He finds things that will upset me and keeps bothering me with them all day long. I’ve had to fight OCD on SO MANY things. For example, he is constantly tricking me into thinking I need to see everything in my world ‘Completely’ (especially scary things). In the past, he even convinced me that I needed to see my mom’s whole body not just her face at all times. She thinks it’s because of all the times she video-called me as a baby from work trips.

We’re always working with Dr Jennie on a new battle with the OCD Flea. We worked for about a month to get used to seeing Mom incompletely. Multiple times a day, Mom poked her head out from behind corners in our house so I could practice getting used to that scary feeling. She was relieved that she finally knew why I fight so hard to look at every single space and object of every place I would go as I grew up. For me, it sure helps to learn these new skills because adults often think I’m just refusing to listen or being bad.

There are a few ways OCD bothers me right now and I want you to know so you can decide how best to be a good friend and support me.

Managing responses to reassurance-seeking questions 

OCD Signal(s):

  • I’m repeatedly asking time-related questions i.e. when is recess, what time is it, etc. He needs constant time reassurance
  • I’m asking 3+ follow-up questions to learn more about something that seems dangerous or scary e.g. sharks, tornadoes, etc.

Supportive statements:

  • Oops, I’ve already answered that sweetie (or) I can’t answer those questions
  • It sounds like OCD is very concerned about that
  • That’s my job to worry about that stuff, not OCD or Wesley’s
  • Is it OCD who wants to know? Or is it Wesley?
  • (If feelings are intense) Fine, I’m going to talk to your OCD right now. I really wish you’d leave Wes alone. Next time, I don’t really want to talk to you

Helping to limit ‘checking’ behaviors

OCD Signal(s):

  • Repeatedly checking and confirming things are complete or safe. I notice small things like doors being locked and closed. And, when adults say they’re going to fix it or check something it’s not enough. OCD Flea has to make sure it sees that it is done

Supportive Statements:

  • OCD really wants you to do that. The more OCD checks, the more he wants things checked
  • YOU can let the OCD Flea check those things but I’m not going to answer to him
  • Do YOU want to be doing this?

Helping me get ‘Unstuck’

OCD Signal(s):

  • Frustration about not saying the EXACT time e.g. 8:02am instead of saying ‘it’s 8’
  • Lack of focus or hyper-focus e.g. Slowness in doing work or tests. Gets stuck if doesn’t know the answer or can’t do it perfectly
  • Getting mad about not being able to complete something correctly

Supportive Statements:

  • You’re stuck! It doesn’t have to be just right
  • It looks like OCD is really concerned about that
  • Thank you for telling me that! I like things in a certain place too but different people can do it in different ways! That’s what makes us all unique

Manage fixations on certain objects

OCD Signal(s):

  • Insistence on possessing certain objects i.e. miniatures.
  • Hesitance on throwing ANYTHING away 

Supportive Statements:

  • Let’s pick just one of those things to take to the park today. Set a limit
  • If we let him trick us that we have to have these things he’ll be so happy and be even more annoying. Letting OCD bully us makes him stronger

When you’re frustrated with me just know that I’m in there – Me, Wesley! Your sweetest, funniest guy that loves you to the moon and back. I’m getting better and better at coping with OCD Flea – that Mr. Stupid Stinky Poo-Poo Pants.  

-Wesley

FOR TEACHERS – Other OCD Signals:  

  • Tic behaviors (Tourretic OCD symptoms) – only addressed through accommodation
  • Avoidant behaviors e.g. when called upon to read out loud or answer a question in certain scenarios if he’s less sure of the answer, skipping through questions without doing them at all just to complete the exercise
  • Taking everything out of boxes and cabinets to see everything inside
  • Extreme physical discomfort (sore throats, Tummy aches) that come out of nowhere
  • Sensory issues i.e. uncomfortable chair, wet clothing
  • Passionate reactions to feelings of unfairness