Little boy

“Although you walk alone I’m not far behind.”

These words brought tears to my eyes when I heard them from the sweetest voice of Hannah Mowery. This OCD boy-mamma is pretty special. I ran into a post she had on an OCD mom’s Facebook group and it was as if she wrote my very own song for me, putting into words things that are so incredibly hard to explain.

She agreed to share with me a little about her story and the recording of her song, ‘Little Boy’ that I love so dearly and keep listening to on repeat. Each story makes me feel less lonely on our own journey. And we can all use a little opportunity here and there to lift each other up some.

Hannah, you’re a conqueror!

A little about Hannah’s journey:

My youngest son, Jude, was diagnosed last October with OCD and severe anxiety. I broke down and took him to a therapist when I had that “mom gut” feeling that something more was going on under the surface of my sweet baby’s mind. He battles several versions of OCD, the biggest one being “scrupulosity OCD” or the “moral OCD”, as well as intrusive thoughts. He is a “checker” which his anxiety exacerbates this. We have learned a LOT in one year of therapy. We love our therapist and where Jude receives support and good counsel.

It has not been easy. There are days where I want to scream and run away from my home. Some days are up, and some are down (like I say in the song!) and I try to take the wins where we get them. The hardest part is not being able to “fix” my boy when he is hurting and tormented. Teaching him to sit with the uncomfortable has been a learning curve for not just him, but for us as his parents, as well. We never want our children to hurt!

I wrote this song in a low moment last April. I felt like a worn out soldier that knew I would have to go into war again, even though I had fought the night before, and the night before, and the night before that. I wanted to wave a flag of surrender and say I can’t do it anymore. But somehow, as mothers, we get back up and do it again. And even on our worst days of yelling and tears, we go and kiss our baby’s at night and PRAY so hard that tomorrow will be a little easier, or we will somehow be a little stronger. –Hannah